There is an old Chinese proverb that says something like: “When you see poop on the street, make sure you don’t smear your shoes in it.” That means it is better to go around it, to avoid it because even though you are bigger, that small poop can hurt you.
I believe that most people are good by nature. Almost every human being wants to be liked and seen as a good person.
However there are a few bad apples as well and, as the Chinese proverb says, it is better to avoid them rather than trying to conquer or reshape them.
Types of People Which You Should Avoid
Most manipulators don’t know how to relate to others; they have no interpersonal skills. They have only their interest in mind and follow that interest with total disregard for your wants and needs; they are all about “me, me, me”.
Have compassion for such individuals because people who are looking after “me, me, me” only, don’t know who “me” actually is and that is a sad way of living. Is is not?
Have compassion for manipulators but protect yourself and stay away and avoid having them in your life.
2. Playing the victim
Are you getting frustrated and annoyed when some people, under your eyes are making a mistake or something wrong and then say it wasn’t them?
People who are playing the victim can drain you of energy and patience; taking from you, precious time that you could spend it with someone more deserving and more productive.
Playing the victim is emotional blackmail, and it is hard, for an honest person, not to fall into the trap.
Therefore, remind yourself that you are the guardian of YOU and stay away from such individuals. Plus, you can’t help anyone that doesn’t want to be helped or doesn’t recognize having an issue.
3. Complaining about everything
Can you tolerate around yourself someone that complains, constantly, about everything? And did you noticed that happens if you do? You might end up complaining to others about the fact that this person is complaining. Is it not?
Yes, complaining is part of life because not everything is roses and music.
However, it is one thing to communicate your complaints about things that can be changed, something that you can fix and another matter complaining about how birds are flying over someone’s house and leaving droppings in the garden.
4. You are not invited to happy moments
There are those individuals that are telling you that “you are the only one who understands me”.
You are the only one with whom they can share everything, including their darkest secrets and be vulnerable.
However, you noticed that sharing everything ends and is confined to negative things.
You are not invited to share happy moments, success and well-being, but only pain and sorrow.
Don’t allow yourself to feel flattered and give others permission to use you as their dumping ground.
Stay away from such individuals. Stay away not out of vanity but out of your sense of self-preservation.
Listen, a person like that is not your friend, doesn’t see you as their friend and doesn’t consider, or care about the harm is doing to you.
5. Going around the bush and not telling you the truth, the real issue
These are those individuals that are smiling to your face telling you that everything is fine. However, the minute you turn your back they have a problem with you.
Not only that but when they tell you what is bothering them, they are lying. Isn’t it draining to fight imaginary problems? Non-existing issues?
Learn how to be assertive and put your foot down. Don’t allow people to send you on a wild goose chase. Speak the truth and expect the truth in return.
6. Criticizing you just to lift themselves up
These are those individuals that are glowing with satisfaction at every opportunity to put you down, to criticize and complain about you.
People that love and appreciate you are tolerant and almost blind about your flows, shortcoming, and mistakes.
They see you perfect to complete who they are. They are happy to have you in their lives and enjoy feeling useful to you and allow you to feel useful in return.
7. Refusing to get out of negative thinking
No matter what you say, they find the negative part in everything.
I guess you know the expression “misery likes company,” don’t you? People who refuse to acknowledge and change a negative way of thinking, have the power to drag you down with them.
Even though they are not doing it to you intentionally, they are changing, bit by bit who you are and the way you see the world.
Why should you stay away and avoid this type of people? Their negativity is rarely about you. You don’t take it personally and because of that, chances are you miss to notice the harm that their negativity is doing to you.
As an example, you say: “It is January” and they reply “how dreadful!” It is not about you or your statement but then you might feel compelled to go along and find unpleasant things about January because that is how we relate to each other, how we build rapport with each other.
Now, maybe you have identified people that you care about and love as being one of the types mentioned above, people that you want to keep in your life. You might feel that you can’t just discard them like damaged goods.
Help them to change their ways. Help them to acknowledge their issues. Offer them support and understanding because none of this type of individuals is happy.
However, remember that your first duty is to yourself. Keep yourself safe and protected because no one else is doing it for you. It is your prerogative and duty.