These days, maintaining a healthy relationship often feels like an unattainable thing. Ironically, for the people that have mentally, emotionally, and intellectually matured way past the expected bar, we are making it strangely difficult to maintain a healthy relationship, one that’ll actually last longer than a carton of milk.
We’re kind of baffled; why are we finding love to be this hard? We’ll tell you why – we’ve collectively become endlessly self-conscious, afraid and anxious due to a multitude of social, economic and political changes that have had us spin in circles.
On some days, a simple act of getting out of bed seems like a chore, let alone loving someone and making sure they’re happy. Still, things shouldn’t be as hard as we’ve made them be. Here are the best 4 ways that will show you how to build a happier and healthier relationship.
How to build a Happier and Healthier Relationship
1. The truth you may not want to hear
Back in the day when happiness didn’t come at a cost when partners fought for one another and marriages lasted longer than 72 days, love was both a journey and a destination.
Although our parents never turned to life coaches and psychologists, they seem to have been happier in their relationships than we currently are.
But it’s not just the happiness of it; no matter how tough, complicated or seemingly impossible to solve a situation would be, they’d always manage to break it down effortlessly.
And you know how they did it? They believed in themselves, they trusted each other and they didn’t bail after the first bump in the marital road. Yes, it’s that simple.
Loving somebody, that is, being capable of giving and receiving love requires loving and respecting yourself first. When you are comfortable with who you are, where you come from and how much love, brains, devotion, and commitment you are able to invest in a relationship, you’re bound to have a blossoming partnership on your hands.
Naturally, getting to know yourself takes time and effort but the end result makes it all worth it. So, next time a haunting thought like “Why do all of my relationships fail?” springs to mind, stop and think for a second: is it because you are still insecure and uncomfortable in your own skin? Possibly.
For that, we’ve relied on common sense, a little bit of research, and a few healthy parental tips to come up with this guide that’ll ensure your relationship goes in the right direction and consequently making your life a lot happier.
2. Develop a sense of self-confidence
While your mind may instantly go to “What the hell’s my self-confidence got to do with my relationship” mode, the truth is – it’s got to do more than you think. We are all prone to excessive self-doubt and self-criticism, especially if we’ve experienced any form of (family) trauma in the past. The coping mechanisms get triggered, consequently reflecting on our relationships and jeopardizing them.
Due to some unresolved problems from our past – whether they come from the family or our previous relationship experiences – our self-confidence potentially gets seriously damaged, resulting in us constantly feeling afraid, anxious and not good enough for our partners. And – you already know what we are about to say – what you feel is what you attract.
If you are constantly overwhelmed with negative feelings, they are very likely to affect your relationship and ruin it for good. This is why it’s essential that you make sense of your own life story before you enter a relationship you want to stay in. No matter what had happened before to have hurt you, accept that you can’t change the past.
However, what you can do is change the way you approach things, as well as how to make sense of them. Once you solve your own issues, you’ll become a much happier, healthier person to be around, and therefore – your relationships will start changing for the better, too.
3. Don’t get co-dependent
Relationships with partners so focused on each other that they’ve got no personal interests developed are doomed to fail. Make sure you have a set of things you do without your partner, and that he also does the same.
Naturally, this doesn’t mean doing anything together. Rather, keep the good things alive and enjoy sharing experiences that are making you happy individually. The idea is to be so comfortable with each other that you can do things both together and apart.
4. Understand how to express insecurities in your relationship
Before you decide to address any insecurity about your relationship, be honest with yourself first. Avoid repeating your previous dating mistakes and actually reflect on what’s going on. Ask yourself a streamline of questions and answer them honestly.
Are you the needy type or do you find yourself distancing from him often? Are you comfortable with who you are? Do you like this guy or the idea of him? Are you okay with being alone and is this relationship based on healthy foundations?
These and other similar questions are your little guiding posts into a happy relationship. Only after you truly understand who you are (and accept it), share it with your partner. Otherwise, everything’s just a series of unnecessary jibber jabber.
There, we hope this will work. They keep telling us love is just around the corner, so here’s a suggestion: let’s race for it!